Lessons in Readiness are on my mind this early a.m. as I share this sage piece with you from my trusted spiritual counsel: The Daily Ohm.com They have once again brought thought worth pondering over the character defect of Anger.
June 19, 2012
Beyond ReactingÂ Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â
Remembering to Pause
by Madisyn Taylor
Remembering to pause and take a breath before we react can shift the energy of the outcome.
We have all had the experience of reacting in a way that was less than ideal upon hearing bad news, or being unfairly criticized, or being told something we did not want to hear. This makes sense because when our emotions are triggered, they tend to take center stage, inhibiting our ability to pause before we speak. We may feel compelled to release the tension by expressing ourselves in some way, whether itâ€™s yelling back at the person yelling at us, or rushing to deliver words of comfort to a friend in trouble. However, there is much to be said for teaching ourselves to remember to pause and take a deep breath before we respond to the shocks and insults that can come our way in life.
For one thing, our initial response is not always whatâ€™s best for us, or for the other people involved. Reacting to childish rage with childish rage will only escalate the negativity in a situation, further ensnaring us in an undesirable dynamic. Similarly, when we react defensively, or simply thoughtlessly, we often end up feeling regret over our words or actions. In the end, we save ourselves a lot of pain when we take a deep breath and really tune in to ourselves, and the other person, before we respond. This doesnâ€™t necessarily mean we donâ€™t say anything, although in some cases, that may be the best option.
Â Here’s the link to Amazon for “Living the 12 Steps of Recovery – One Day at a Time – As It Was in the Beginning” :
Or, you can go to the website: www.livingtwelvestepsrecovery and just click on the buy page picture of Amazon Kindle. It’s available NOW through July 8th, 2012 as a FREE Loaner on KINDLE’S PRIME PROGRAM.
Here’s an excerpt from my book:
“Living the 12 Steps of Recovery – One Day at a Time – As It Was in the Beginning.” You can look it over or buy it at: www.livingtwelvestepsrecovery.com or on the link below for E-Books. NOW – through July 9th 2012, you can borrow the book on KINDLE PRIME for FREE. Check it out for as long as you like and you can buy when you switch to another item.http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004V0CHY2Regarding the posture of becoming entirely ready. one of the original fellowship’s beloved clergyman suggested that:
“any person capable of enough willingness and honestly to try repeatedly on their faults _ without any reservations whatsoever – has indeed come a long way spiritually.” (AA 12×12 page 63)While I am grateful for the support of powers greater than myself, I will achieve nothing if I do nothing. Just asking isn’t going to cut it on it’s own, unless it is combined with my own best effort for change.
For as many a long-timer has said: “Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes.”June 14
The Prideful Self-appointed GuardianAre our intentions really earnest when we are â€œviewing with alarm for the good of the movementâ€? When we think it is up to us to always be correcting conditions it is once again an attitude where pride and its character defect, self-righteousness, can suspend us in its state for fruitless years. No one can tell us what we ought to do and none can succeed in telling us what we need do. For the greatest number of us, we have to learn the hard wayâ€”out of our own experiences. For others, this is their quest for finding the readiness for removal, though never entirely found. As the prideful, self-appointed guardian of our fellowship we view the acts and opinions of others with self-righteous alarm. When we set out to â€œcheckâ€ others, we may find ourselves self-righteous and even downright intolerant, though we are often motivated by fear of what they are doing.As a consequence to our attitudes, we seldom succeed in correcting anything or anyone. Up come the barriers of resentment that cut off any chance for an honest suggestion or example, given in understanding or love.
Our readiness toward the removal of this lesser defect of pride is fortified when we lead by example, not in driving by mandate. If we would favorably affect others, we must practice what we preach ourselves, and forget our preaching to them.
In a daily practice of recovery, what does Step VI mean in asking that we “become entirely ready”? In a pattern of repetition – reinforcement and with consistency, we aim our sights towards high aspirations of character building. Get a good 12 Step reference and work it everyday. With this one, it only takes a few minutes, but plants the seed. Here’s what I mean:June 7
We Aim to Do Our Best from Here on Out
When our basic instincts become irrational and obsessive compulsions,
they evolve into defects of character or sinful acts. If we ask, our
God will forgive us for those trespasses. But he doesn’t remove
all temptation nor render us free of the potential to errâ€”not without
our most sincere cooperation and effort.
With our own willingness, we aspire toward an ideal state of character
knowing we are asked only that we do our best in progress, as to the
construction of good character traits.
In Step Six, that is recovery’s way of stating we are poised and willing
to exert the best possible attitude we can to begin this lifetime pursuit.
From here on out we will aim to do our finest.
The key words â€œentirely readyâ€ submit that we are willing to carefully
aim our sights. We train them at the very foremost that we know
and might learn on our voyage. As such, this does not mean we may
expect our shortcomings to be removed as the drive to drink or use was.
Some will dissipate quickly, but most will require our perseverance
and patience to improve.
Like the book? Use the link to my site and get one of the remaining signed original first edition softback copies, or,……get an e-book version on KINDLE. Now through July 9, 2012, you can borrow a copy for free with unlimited use until ready to turn it in for another using KINDLE’S PRIME PROGRAM!